Question...

Why do we have to grow up? Why do we tend to create responsibility for ourselves? Why does everyone in this world have a desire to be succesful?

"17 reasons why.."

I'm finding every reason to be gone.

"City" Sara Bareilles

There's a harvest each saturday nightAt the bars filled with perfume and hitching a ride. A place you can stand for one night and get goneIt's clear this conversation ain't' doing a thing.

Cause these boys only listen to me when i sing. And i don't feel like singing tonight,all the same songs.

Here in these deep city lightsGirl could get lost tonightI'm finding every reason to be gone. Nothing here to hold on to, Could i hold you?

The situation's always the same. You got your wolves in their clothes whispering Hollywood's name. Stealing gold from the silver they see. But it's not me.

Here in these deep city lightsGirl could get lost tonightI'm finding every reason to be gone. There's nothing here to hold on to, Could i hold you?

Calling out somebody save me i feel like i'm fading away. Am i gone? Calling out somebody save me i feel like i'm fading. In these deep city lights, Girl could get lost tonight. I'm finding every reason to be gone. There's nothing here to hold on to, Could i hold on to you?

I never understood this.

so this is how it feels to have lost a very influential person in your life.
this is how it feels to keep your mind busy so that you can't think of the things that make you emotional.
this is how it feels to have a void in your mind.
this is how it feels to be in disbelief and denial.
this is how it feels to walk around without feelings.
this is how it feels to rediscover your faith.
this is how it feels to remember.
this is how it feels to really cry.
this is how it feels to be angry.
this is how it feels to miss someone.