you can wish.

no matter how hard you wish to reverse time, you can't. and it sucks. don't you know how much you could change? it would be so simple.

i think the reason why we are so keen to want to go back in time is because we have trouble dealing with the result of our actions from whatever had happened. this is what we need to work on. you need to just deal with it. talk it out, the only way it will leave is for it to leave your mind. doing this will make things easier. you can't afford to lose this financially. just hold on until june.

I am gay, but that microwave is not.

haven't you ever heard anyone say "that's so gay," when referencing something that is terrible, ugly or unpleasant? i personally haven't realized that alot of people use the term "gay" as a synonym for stupid. especially some of my closest friends! i guess they just don't realize that it is offensive. to me, its offensive because you're associating gay with something that is degrading. everytime someone mentions it around me, i feel that they are making a homophobic remark without even noticing.

this isn't something i can't ignore, i just feel like the term is demeaning. what if someone had a microwave that broke? instead of saying, "that's so gay," in reference to the inconvenience why couldn't you say, "that sucks?" haha

to put this in perspective, what if you replaced "gay" with something else used to generalize a bad situation? say for instance your friend had on a pair of ugly socks...what if she said, "your socks are so oriental." or "those socks are nigger socks." or "those socks are straight." ? what would you think then? would you find it offensive? of course! well that's what i feel when the word "gay" is in their place. i feel disrespected and unsafe.

the same thing goes with the word, "faggot." i absolutely despise the use of it.
it really irks me when i'm hanging out with friends that call each other fag when something stupid happends. don't you realize what you are saying?? don't you realize that your friend is gay? how can you say that you support me, when you use such language?! don't you realize that this is hate speech? get out of your shell and have some consideration!

and how can folks think that GLBT people want to be treated better than everyone else? that is totally the wrong concept. that is exactly what people said when colored people were trying to gain their civil rights and when interracial couples were fighting for the right to marry. its not that we want special rights! we want the same rights as everyone else. we are discriminated against because of who we love and because of that i can never be legally recognized for my relationship and never be able to serve my country. so, it is not a matter of being treated "better," than everyone else it is a matter of being treated equally like everyone else.

please watch what you say, you never know how much it might hurt.

ugh...i love you?

Okay so...i watched the ironman competition on tv last week and totally forgot about lokelani mcmichael. she is like the hottest triathlete out there, and was the youngest finisher during the first ironman in kona and has been participating every year since then. But wow, can i just say that there are so many different people that compete! i felt guilty watching 60 year old men and women finish and also people who were a little overweight had finished as well. i have come to realize that im fucking 21 years old! i'm in my prime time for health!! i don't want to be one of those people who wish they were 21 again just so that they can have their body back. i am going to make use of my body NOW. i am young, and there is no other time to be fit than NOW! i am going to start getting off of my ass and train to be fit... i want to be healthy and toned, i am going to make use of what i have while im in my 20s.. i will never get this time back!! i can do it!!

time to go run!!

I'm in a great mood!

so i am officially finished with my finals for fall quarter!

genetics went okay, except for the 2nd page...anatomy was difficult to get through and biochem was surprisingly difficult. BUT i did my best and i know that i will pass all of the classes. thats where i'm at right now...just pass, you'll graduate this spring ;) haha.

hello free time! maybe i'll find a way to sell my books back too. i'm so stoked to finally have time to exercise! this break im planning on two a day workouts to get my butt back in shape, and also planning to volunteer during my time home since i won't be able to work.

another thing that i was happy about this week was that dr. corkill said that he is willing to be one of my references for my job applications! this is awesome, i pretty much have the whole chem department backing me up so someone out there will hire me...i hope!

Hopefully i won't have to go to extremes like joshua persky..

I'll do it if i have to!

WAHOO!

Oh sometimes i just like to take a step back and look at my life. I have forgotten myself lately amidst all of these books! I have no idea what compelled me to take these classes all at once but I realized that patience is the secret ingredient for my learning. I expect to just get the material like a genius, but this is reality. These past few weeks have been hectic academically and I have never been under so much stress. But today I have proved to myself that I can do this. I can make it out here. Yesterday, two test a quiz....all intense but i whipped that shit in the ass. Today, anatomy..i think i did alright. I definitely knew more on that test than the last one. I need to tone my body. I've been working my brain out nonstop but I really need to give some attention to the whole thaaaang. Yes, I know..I got to get back on track now. I commited to run the Jingle Bell race next month but i obviously can't make it...I've gone 8 miles back in progress.

So here it goes...I will vow to stay in shape from here on out...wait.. maybe after thanksgiving ;)

UPS and downs...

Well, i found out some interesting information about this TPaIDA trip...Dr. Rolling isn't even a licensed MD..he supposedly got his MD from antigua but there isn't a record of him following through with his degree....and he isn't even in TPaIDA anymore. He got kicked out of the organization in august and is still trying to adverstise students to travel with him to peru?! TPaIDA isn't even his organization to begin with.. A friend told me he got shoved out on account of some unethical decisions....hmm... now how am i supposed to trust someone with my safety in a foreign country?!

I did some searching and found out that his license was suspended in mississippi for not paying child support and he failed to renew his license in salt lake city, UT....dr. rolling was also incarcarated in salt lake for reasons unkown to me. I feel decieved...how can he promise all of those experiences when TPaIDA isn't even a real organization? I'm just angry about all of this...mostly because I put $100 down. I guess i don't have a good chance getting my money back because some people have already tried and wer unsuccesful...UGH!

now there is another organization called GiDDE that all the employees from tha actual TPaIDA have put together since dr. rolling is coining "TPaIDA" for himself. They promise not to schedule dates around dr. rolling's plans...but i'd rather not even have to think about it..so i am not going at all. They even volunteered to waive the cost of $100 for me, but that won't change things. I'll just choose another country.

anyways...i checked the mail today and found that i was awarded a 1,000 scholarship from the school! this made up for the horrible information i found out earlier. I had applied for it this summer, and am happy that i'm a recipient! this money will be put to great use and am very thankful i have been chosen.

also, i can't believe that i only have three more classes to finish my Bachelor's of Science degree!! my plan is to just split them up for winter and spring...and take some easy classes to make a full-time student! this is awesome.. I'm almost there.

YES I CAN.

i just got accepted to be an intern for the Tropical Pathology and Infectious Disease Association! Oh man..this is the start of a life changing experience.. now i am on a mission to raise $4000 dollars. this will be my project for the next 7 months. I CAN DO IT! http://www.tpida.org/

i feel like an energizer bunny..

wow i can't believe that ive forgotten about my blog.

life hasn't changed much, except for the fact that school has started and i have been a workhorse since day one. im so determined to get my honor chords for graduating this spring...im not doing it so much for me but for my parents.. i could care less.. i just want my degree. which reminds me i have an appt with Dr. Gibson on friday (10am) to turn in my grad application.

class has been great...just trying to keep up with my studies and trying to stay on top of things now that i can't screw up now. penny is getting bigger...well fatter and im not stopping it because i figure it is almost winter and since we are cheap asses, the heat will only be on when its snowing lol. living with nicole and jaymie has been a blast, i can't imagine and 2 better people to live with. okay well i have to go study for my biochem test tomorrow....then on the cycle again for an anatomy test on friday.

the greatest week of my summer.

this past week has been absolutely amazing. my mom and i went on a rafting trip in southern oregon on the wild and senic rogue river! it was beautiful... we left for oregon on saturday the 30th and on the way to merlin, we stopped at the saturday market in portland. i loooove the saturday market, it was only my 2nd time going but i love how eclectic the crowd is...you have gypsies, liberals, the young, the old and multiple cultures! the variety of vendors was awesome too...its a huge market..you could spend the whole day there. my mom and i had lunch, walked around and left around 1:00pm.

well i could definitely go on forever about rafting..i'll just talk about my favorite parts...
the first day i enjoyed camping and the fact that everything was set up so that we didn't have to lift a finger, i also loved how we camped out on the river bank...that was something i've always wanted to do. just being that close to nature was just breathtaking. on monday, the weather was beautiful! my favorite parts were kayaking thru the rapids, floating the river with mom and arriving at the lodge! ohhhh, that shower was soooo rejuvinating! the interior of our room was so warm and inviting...i could have stayed there another couple days. the last day of the trip was the shortest..i kayaked the last part of it and i enjoyed the scenery so much..

all in all, i had fun with everyone and really valued their company along the trip. the time spent with my mom was something i wouldn't trade anything for!! i couldn't have asked for a better time.

oh and did i mention that i turned 21 last friday?! oh yeaaaah! the whole family and i went and had dinner at famous dave's...the bbq was to die for..and my cousin amber bought me my first drink! i think it was called a sweet mama :) then on saturday my mom and i went to a wedding where i took advantage of the buffet and open bar!!

this whole week has been amazing and i would do it all over again if i had the chance :)

la la beijing...

i went to REI saturday and sunday to take advantage of the HUGE sale!! pretty much 70% of the stuff there was on sale for 50% off! so i bought like 100 bucks worth of stuff...lots of it had to do with my rafting trip and the other was for snowboarding...ohh how i love not paying full price for the things i wear.. never again will i return ;)

so my car is back in the shop...the problem this time is my AC...well, it isn't working..and i'm afraid that it will cost me my most recent paycheck.. ((sigh)).

jaymie had her surgery yesterday and i must admit seeing here was kinda sad..she is so swollen in the face but she is such a trooper. i'm truly thankful that everything went well. when i left for work this morning she was out of her room and attempting to speak, but i can tell she's still in alot of pain...poor thing.. i feel bad for leaving this weekend but i know she will be okay. we also picked up her grandmother from the airport on sunday and she is so adorable! i love her, she reminds me of my own grandma, not to mention she made us enchiladas sunday night!! ohh it was amazing!

oh yeah, she and jaymie came to REI on sunday too and they both were sold on those keen sandals! it was cool...first my mom then jocelyn and jaymie and her grandma too! haha!

oh! among other things marchecia left for cali with her family on friday :'( she is one of my oldest friends here and am sad that she is gone! i loved our potlucks and hangouts and just basically her company i will miss the most!! but it shall not be the last goodbye...i am planning on going to san fran this winter!! i gotta save, save, save!

before she left, we all did something drastic...we got tattoos! nicole, marchecia, brittany and i went to bullet proof for our 1st tattoos and yeahh it hurt like a mother fucker lol. it didn't hit me until i heard that needle thingy buzzing. i guess the scariest part was not knowing how it would feel... you really can't ask people how it feels because its different for everyone.. for me, the pain was on the borderline between tolerable and intolerable!! it was definitely something i've never felt before..

but it was great to have 3 other ladies there going through the same thing. it was funny because originally, nicole, marchecia and i planned on getting tats for like a month and brittany would come for support but she ended up getting a tattoo with us as a spontaneous decision!! it was awesome. since its been almost 2 weeks, my skin is nearly done scabbing...yay! its just itchy as fuck.

oh! i also bought a dub last weekend and smoked with brittany twice since.. then i thought to myself..this is way too much! and plus i don't like to smoke everyday like i think brit expects to...she didn't even pay me! wtfd. and she is also a different high then i am...i am calm, chill and she is loud as fuck. when we were hanging out she was so loud that i was like "omg shut up pleaaase!" (in my head of course). so..i sold the remaining ganja to my lab partner alex.. i love mj but please not frequently...can't understand ppl who drink or smoke that way.

just....blah!

UGH. i love my job but at times it can be really boring...

like right now, i couldn't find out what solvent to use in order to dissolve my product..ethyl acetate didn't work...methylene chloride didn't work...same with ethanol and hexanes!!

i mean wtf! is my shit just not dissolvable in anything? i tried both ends of the spectrum...non-polar to polar so bleh! i don't know what to do now. i need to separate this stuff out...even when i read some papers about people using this stuff in their experiements they just did dry reactions so i couldn't even get a solvent out of it. on the other hand some people did a reaction with my product in DMSO at 60C but its not like we have a huge bottle of DMSO around.

so fuck...what else can i do to make it seem like i'm being productive?.....

hmm...maybe make more media for my cells..even though i don't really need any ;)

i love summer.

what has been going on with me?

um, well i finally went to get my car fized the other day and i'm so relieved! my heat selector, ventilation control and fan selector are all working properly....after almost 2 years :) i really thank my dad for giving me the oppertunity to get it done.

research is going really well, i'm going to start my esterification on monday and hopefully if all goes well my compound will be able to get tested. we have also dipped into the biology aspect of things which is pretty neat because it gives me more to look forward to. we are now maintaining a cell culture line...some kind of lymphoblast but its awesome keeping em alive.

as for other things, we just finished watching "rendition" and it was a pretty great movie....brittany's 21st bday is today so we are about to clean the apartment to have people over later. i also have to put the icing on my cake in a little while too :) i can't wait to go home in several weeks..i've been looking forward to this rafting trip with my mom and i'm hoping i don't have my period during that time..ugh. but it really should be a great experience.

hmm...what else is on my mind...oh yeah i haven't gotten my check from cheney delights yet. and its been like over 2 weeks from when they said they'd send it. i'm going to have to give em a call tonight and speak my mind. i mean they have to pay me for the hours i did work. legally, they have to.

i've decided on my next paycheck i'm going to invest in some clothes for the rafting trip, and possibly a new longboard... but anywho that's like 8 days away...not that i'm counting down or anything :)

sick to my stomach.

i feel that i am on the verge of puking my stomach up my esophagus.

i just got back from dinner and beer with my research professor and my friend who is also my colleague. dinner was awesome! dr. d cooked 3 kinds of salmon, rice and ceasar salad, it was bomb. not to mention, he needs to get a rice cooker and scrap the stove top method. but anyway, i brought a 40 oz (to freedom) and some chips over and besides being rediculed for beer and chips, i can tell that i got some manly respect. hah. so anyways, we eat watch a little runs house then a little bam margera and speak freakin chemistry like the whole time. i mean WOW. WTF. it was cool and everything but i felt like i had to drink up in order to stay awake lol.

and another thing...i guess i went just to have something to do because nicole went back to the westside with lui..they are going to summer jam on sunday and i wish i could have gone too. but i couldn't miss 3 days of work with the rafting trip and my birthday in august/sept. i miss her already, and the apartment is empty...just me. on top of that, i feel sick because i biked over to dr. d's house and biked back a little tipsy! and i tell you beer and excersize do not mix.

so UGH. i'm not going to think about puking...because if i do, all hell will break lose..out of my mouth if you will.

the weekend.

we had our party on saturday and it was way fun! i think that the reasons for its success were the people we invited. i guess we tend to have friends who don't get beligerently drunk which is a great thing! it was really chill, everyone was happy with a few shots here and there..guitar hero was also fun for a while! i guess we would rather drink, sit around and talk, oh and of course have delicious BBQ! food, drinks, friends...what more? i'm glad cody let us borrow his grill, that was really nice.

we started drinking around 6 so the party ended pretty much around midnight. aaron was the only one left, but then ryan, krissy and dusty came over. we chatted for about 30 minutes..i thought they were never going to leave!! bah! i was so pooped already but hey you can't be rude.. a little earlier though, i was kinda disappointed when marchecia and brittany wanted to go home at 1130. i'm pretty sure they said they were going to crash but then brittany was talking about walking home that late in the night..i was like.."um, NO?! i'll drive you!"

but fuck. i was so tipsy at the time...and you bet i sobered up quick! i had a burger and water and called it good. i drove em home but it didn't calm my nerves when a cop was following me like 80% of the way!! i was sweating and was like, "FUCK i don't need a DUI!" but then again i was pretty sober at the time..

Oh one more thing! we finally set up our wireless network! granted i had to pretty much call india for some help but raju was a great help! wahoo i'm online from my room! um, and can i say that whoever created pandora.com was a genius?! i fucking love it.

a breath of fresh air

ahhh.. air. something you can't live without.

today i have made a discovery that could possibly make my mark on the scientific world. i reacted a diamine with a lactone (both made prior to this exp) and created a sweet polymer. i have no idea what the structure is but i'll work on that. hopefully i can use this polymer for my antibiotic project or for other cool science things.

anyways, i have moved into our new apartment and its awesome! jaymie bought a flat screen monitor, and our furniture is pretty tite! bottom line, i have picked the right roommates this time :) we have our house warming party tomorrow and its going to be fun! what better to have then food and close friends?! haha, its a great start to the weekend and tonight im going out with the girls!!

also i have quit that dammned ice cream/food aide job. they can shove that job up their hairy fat asses. it was just too stressful and if anything it just reinforced the idea of me never going back to food.. EVER. they are totally a re-heat restaurant and i hope they go outta buissiness! HAH! take that fuckers. but my research job is more than enough to sustain me for the summer.

you can't do anything but laugh!

so, last night kelly, nicole and i watched the eye (the one with jessica alba). it was pretty good! the japanese version was still scary as fuck. i mean i couldn't even finish that one. jessica alba was did pretty well...it was the first movie where she looked "tore-up" the whole way thru! anyways, go see it.

on to other things...there are some funny ass videos on you-tube! i just have to post these...they crack my shit up!!











HAHAHA! its worth the laugh!

Patience is key.

WOW..is a word that explains alot of the things that came along my way in the last 12 hours.

first of all, im excited to say that i'm going to be making ice-cream for cheney delights, the owners are trusting me to make some delicious concoctions! i'll be getting paid there just minimum wage but, they said that they'll give me about 10-15 hours a week so we'll find out when i go in tomorrow, exactly what my hours are going to be like. second, i'm also actually going to be paid to work in my research lab!!!! that made me day....or summer! its 9.77/hr for 11weeks 25/hr/week..i'm stoked that i'll be getting paid for what i've been doing the whole year. it doesn't even feel like a job! so yes, i will be working 2 jobs this summer..hopefully i could rake in some serious cash for things i need to be in the future...especially after graduation :)

YAY! oh i am definitely happy..alot of weight was lifted off of my shoulders today and i am thankful. a little patience goes a long way.

since its been a while, i guess i'll take a recap over the last week. last weekend my parents came, and it was really fun. they didn't have much to move, so i felt pretty good that they had alot of time to relax with me. we went out to eat and watched kung-fu panda! that movie was so funny!! they left sunday afternoon after brunch..it went by pretty fast but i needed to see them. they really picked up my spirits, i love my family so much.

this weekend, is hoopfest. i hope i can go and hangout...hopefully i wont have to work!! haha, but it should be really fun :) also i get to move into our new apartment next week, maybe even this weekend. jaymie and nicole just need to sign the lease and we all have to put down first month's rent. i have many things lined up for this weekend and next week, so we'll see how this goes.

seafood galore!

yesterday jaymie and i went on a trip to spokizzle. we went to raw and had the best sushi! i pretty much found my favorite...its called the firecracker..its got some salmon, tuna, fried tempura on the outside with some ponzu sauce...MmMmm. soo good. we also had some miso soup and the seafood steamer pot...ho daaamn, only 9.95, for a buttload o' mussels and clams..they were stingy on the shrimp but other than that, the meal did my tummy well :) after that we walked around the city..riverfront park is so pretty!! we walked accross one of the bridges, and were sprayed by the river lol. that thing is so high right now, i felt a little queezy walking over it.

ive been moving more things out of the bachelorette pad, and today will probably be the last of it until my parents come. okay so about my surroundings..i'm in the PUB right now, and there are some fuckers abusing the piano..annoying as hell..they can play but the people around him are fucking pricks..probably from one of the highschool camps. there is an old lady who just farted right above me and i guess she thinks that i can't hear her because i have headphones on..but i can definitely smell that shit!! BLEH. last but not least there is a dude right in front of my who keeps staring...i bet he's wondering if i'm typing about him...well, he's right! fucking creeps.

anywho...i checked my grades an hour ago and once again i'm on the deans list. i mean, i worked my ass off!! i deserve to be on that list..and thank goodness i did better in all of my classes than i had expected, especially physics and o-chem. thank ALLAH! wow. i made my day. i love myself sometimes! and its okay! so now, i'm going to go to the science building to see if research lab is open so i can continue what i hope to be the next big antibiotic for all those infected vaginas out there! you all will love me soon! mwahaha. oh geez. im too ahead of myself :) i fucking love it!

my hormones are raging.

this is my 2nd time writing this blog because i accidentally pressed something that deleted everything! UGH!

so i'm moving out once again..i started packing last night and started to move things into the storage unit today. later on tonight i'm going to move my plastic drawers and my table chairs. i want to get as much as possible done before my parents come, so that when they help me out, they only have to help me move my desk, my dresser and my table.

this job thing is frustrating me. at this point i'm desparate..i'm going to call about my online apps, then apply to more places tomorrow.. i'm definitely going to try to take up elmera's offer about the hospital. my interview thursday sucked elephant balls. i felt like i was taking another final.. but oh well that old fart can go fuck himself.

i attended nicole's graduation yesterday morning and it was incredible. she looked amazing...WOW. she's mine and she loves me :) she was just beautiful, as always but yesterday it was like WOOOOOW. damn she looked FINE! haha but i'm extremely proud of her.. and hope she does great things with her degree. i'm glad she chose me. i really do see a future for us. my baby..EWU alumni bachelor of science in exercise science!! i can't wait to pick her up saturday morning!!

about the hormones..i've been watching re-runs of the L word recently and was reminded of how HOT carmen was. she is definitely my favorite character aside from morena. i really have to give credit to that show. they open up a lot of topics sensitive to the GLBT community, and in the right ways. the actors and actresses are all pretty damn good. there are so many cameos on that show too!! i think more people should watch it...gay or straight..its not all about lesbian drama.

alas, one of my favorite scenes...

Relief.

I am officially done with my junior year of college!

-i feel like annika sorenstam in this picture!

My finals went alright, micro was easy since there was a test bank. ochem was a bitch...i hated that we had to take the official ACS exam, that was rediculous!! (*&^(@$(*^!! Physics went fine... BUT what am i to do now? i have an interview tomorrow morning with infinetix, hopefully i can get the job. I don't know if its just me but everytime it comes down to being hired, i always get the feeling like i don't want it anymore! its weird. i think its because i'm a little scared of the unknown. that happened with my TA job, but i got over it and turned out to be fit for it.. so hopefully this next oppertunity will be something i won't shy away from. i haven't even heard back from gail yet.. she's supposed to let me know if she wants me to tutor this summer..i figured i'd get something for sure before i end up without a job.

hmm...i should go home and clean, but i honestly don't want to. OH! so yesterday, when i took penny out for a walk, we went around to the mailbox. on the way there i totally heard my neighbor having sex. it was DISGUSTING!! i mean the girl was fucking loud!! (no pun intended lol) i feel like i'm scarred for life! SIIIIIIIIICK! anyways, bleh, yeah i'm hungry and i guess i'll hike back home..

the tables are turning..slowly.

so far today has been better then yesterday. which is good. i never want to relieve that..ever..again.

i have a year-long comprehensive organic chem final tomorrow, its the official ACS test..i'm not too worried about it. probably because my brain is frying itself and i'm starting not to care. ugh, naturally this always happends but somehow i need to pull some motivation out of my ass. i took my micro final today and it went very well...80 questions completed in 10minutes..thats an average of 8seconds/question. yeah, i was prepared..thank buddah for that test bank haha.

after that i went home and took a 2hour nap then went to safeway to buy penny some adult cat food! it was exciting for me as she is turning 1 on june 28th. i'm being a very cautious pet owner..easing her into a different type of food :) i love that cat. apart from the energy spurts and excessive demands for attention, she is my little world..just want to protect her so she can be with me for as long as time will let her be. yes...i am that cat lady. haha.

i also got the news that we'll be able to get an apartment at barrington..its a for sure deal now. yay! that was another thing that was stressing me out.. all we have to do is pay the deposit and i need to pay for a storage unit for the meantime. among other things, i applied for a chemistry internship/part time position at infinetix and the guy called me just a while ago and wants to set up a time to interview me i guess!! sweeeet! i really need the job for the money and not to mention the experience..30 hours a week at 10-12 bucks/hour should help me out alot. i really hope i land it. well... back to studying..

Edit:

okay so i was on the phone with nicole just a minute ago and some FUCKER told was like, "uhm, can you move?! or can you go outside?!" of course i had the courtesy to say, "oh sure, i'm sorry..im about to get off." but wow, i'm just to proud haha. FUCK YOU white man.

FUCK THE WORLD.

okay. FUCK.

today is not going well. first of all, i have a final tomorrow and essentially need to print out a few things to help me prepare. little to my knowledge was that my printing account is again depleted because of my girlfriend!! FUCCK. okay so yea. i do regret giving her my card to print shit out because she used like 85% of the money on it. now i need my money back to get my shit together. after i found that out i got pissed off.. i tried hard not to say anything to her but alas it came out. then i tried to shrink the font of the material i needed so as to make use of the last 24 cents but no matter how hard i tried, the amount always came out to more than what i had left! then finally when i succesfully came up with a plan, i pressed print and put my card into the machine...BUT the goddamn papers came out blank. so there i was left with only 10cents on my card!!

then i went to the circulation desk to explain what had happened but no one believed me...the bitches thought i was trying to siphon money off of them.. FUCK YOU! i was almost in tears because i was stressed but whatever...mind you this went on for like an HOUR. my test is tomorrow and i need to print shit out in order to study! that is the way i learn..i fill shit in repetitively. and i do well with it, so now im freaking out because i don't want to change my study habit.

i went home popped a vicodin ate a cup of noodles and am back here in this fuckhole again. i hate the library. im still pissed. FUCK THIS SHIT.

My hasty mind

how about I not talk about science...

okay, well i'm quite dissapointed that Clinton is conceeding from the race as i was hoping that she was going to be the next President. But, Obama and Clinton were pretty similar anyways as far as their policies went so yes, i will support Obama and stay loyal to my party. I'm excited to vote this year as it will be my first time ever. its amazing to think that the first time i'll ever vote will be for the most historical race our country has yet to see. but nontheless, i'm ecstatic.

i made it to my scary feminist meeting this week...which was definitely a breather from everything else. i love those women! its so liberating to speak vagina every now and then, most people wouldnt understand. but we had an awesome meeting filled with champagne and sweets and we also talked about events to put on campus next year. i really want to have a women's rights rally consisting of pro-choice topics, violence and politics so we'll see what happends. oh and we brought up the idea of making t-shirts! something i think would be awesome!

hmm.i'm once again on the job hunt..this time i'm extremely motivated. when i don't have any money, i push myself to get out there and actively look which isn't so bad. most companies do everything online so it saves a trip and some effort. i am looking for a lab aide job at a biotech company around here, and my chances are pretty good because i have alot of experience so far..but once again, we'll see.. hopefully i can land one..for the summer, so i'll have something else to do besides tutor.

a few other things on my mind:

-focused on making sure i can get a job after i graduate

-getting a summer job

-talk to nicole and jaymie about our apartment situation

-study for my o-chem test

-research lab

-chocolate cake.

memorial day weekend

after a week of frustration, the 3 day weekend was a perfect way to unwind.

friday went well, i did a little studying went over to nicole's and watch some cable for the rest of the night. saturday morning was awesome..got a chance to catch up on several hours of sleep lost during the week. during the day we focused on studying and had a little shindig with some close friends that night. sometimes you just need to live a little :) joni, kelly, kristina and nathan came over around 7ish, they brought over guitar hero and kelly brought over that tequila bottle that she has been trying to finish. we cooked up some pizzas, played guitar hero and by the end of the night we were having our own beer pong tournament! that was so fun! but of course it was with the right people :) can i just say that i love my friends? although i don't seem them all that much on campus, i hang out with them to get away from school. they are definitely some of my closest friends here and i appreciate them all so much.

oh and i'm pretty sure that all of the deserts i made were gone before they left which was awesome! i'm glad i did a great job baking those cookies...didn't burn em this time lol and i'm also proud that my brownie/cookie dish turned out okay..although i put a tablespoon of water more than the recipe had asked. plus, guitar hero is way addicting. its a definite want on my list of things.

anyways, sunday was a beautiful day. i started it off a little annoyed with myself but other than that i got over it and got a good amount of studying done. that night we went over to marchecia's place and had some of her delicious beans and rice! mmm...mmmm...that was a good dinner. it hit the spot! oh and she also made cornbread...oh yeah...de-lish. after dinner, we watched madea's family reunion. that movie was pretty decent! it was just corny in a few scenes but other than that it was a good movie. tyler perry is a great actor and writer.

now its monday, the last of the weekend. i'm glad we have today off, i kind of wish that we always had 3 day weekends. 2 days just doesn't cut it for me especially when i'm so busy during the week. i'm at the pub studying...lol or i will study in a little bit. then from 8-10, we'll be getting belay certified at the new rec-center...for free!

but ouch...my stomach is hurting..i really don't want to use public restrooms again. ew.

people who shouldn't be in science.

Okay...so my microbiology test went well. the test bank was a huge help for me but i'm afraid she won't have another one for the next test.

moving on, today was mediocre. got out of my test, went to deliver my tutoring schedule and went to physics (a waste of an hours time) then went to TA. oh wow, i had to put so many chemicals out...it was kind of chaotic because people can't seem to put things back where they're supposed to. so because of that, i had to run around finding things for people! its kind of annoying plus i just about want to break the IR machine so nobody asks me anymore questions about why their spectra sucks.. i'm just tired of doing IRs! UGH. anywho, what got me is this one guy...who can't do anything or think for himself. he always manages to ask me a question on every little thing! he is in advanced organic lab and cannot think for the life of himself!

i guess he's one of those people who can't harness his previous quarter's experience to get his shiiit done. i mean why are you a CHEM MAJOR in the first place if you can't even get through your solubility tests?! he should know what looks soluble and what doesn't! but hey, i kept my cool and helped his ass out..i know karma will get me back :)

on top of that...Dr. "D" is a total loser. as i was finishing lab, he tried to get me to go to one of those BORING seminars..why can't they find a woman?! its always some male who hasn't got an ounce of life or charisma! the chemistry department needs more gender diversity! i told him i couldn't go because i had a physics lab to attend to which was the truth but he just doesn't understand..it pisses me off. he thinks those seminars are way "coool!" but in reality they're boring as hell.

(breath)

now im just hungry and am going home right about now. cherrio.

head in a science bucket

i feel like blogging...to no one.

today was a-ok.. went about my usual routine.. go to class, work, then lab. the rain was even having an effect on my mood! gloomy day=gloomy me.

well i went to the pre-lab lecture as always and dr. c announced that i was the recipient of the "outstanding teaching assistant" award! pretty cool i thought considering i've only been a TA for less than 6 months haha. it wasn't just a piece of paper, it was actually a plaque award, which i thought was more distinguished. too bad it didn't come with money or some other prize, but its all fair, at least i could slap that onto my resume! tomorrow i have to make sure that i thank him again, and let him know how appreciative i am to have recieved it.

among other things, i've been kind of disappointed that ive been so busy with science things that i have almost no room for my scary feminist or pro-choice meetings. its almost like i'm missing that kind of enrichment in my life. hopefully next fall i can get back into the motion of liberalizing campus :)

okay, so i have to get back to studying micro...since i have a test this thursday.

agenda for tomorrow:

- meet with dr. g to discuss my fall 2008 schedule
- meet with gail about being a chemistry tutor for the fall instead of starting right away
- possibly get some research done in lab